I've been having kind of a rough week. My middle kid is having problems at school and it's really affecting me. "Asperger's" and "sensory disorder" have been thrown around quite a bit. And I admit it, a not-so-small part of me just wants to put my fingers in my ears and say "NANANANANA!" as loud as I can to drown out any bad stuff. But you can't do that when you're a mom, so onward! Sometimes when things get rough you need to say "screw this! Let's get awesome!"
If you read my blog, you know that on Tuesday I ran EIGHT FREAKIN' MILES and set a new personal record. Well friends, I did it again. Today I not only ran 7 mph on the treadmill (a few weeks ago I literally could not get my legs to move that fast), but ran 7.3 mph... and then 7.5 mph! It was only for a minute at a time since I was doing sprints, but I was really excited! And the cool thing about running super fast is that your normal speed feels too slow when you go back to it, which means you WANT to run faster. This meant that I beat my best 5k time by 27 seconds. I actually ran 3.2 miles, so I know I did quite a bit better than that, but math and I aren't the best of friends and I'm way to lazy to figure out what my time was minus a tenth of a mile. But I'll be happy with my 27 second improvement.
I have to say, it felt really good to go in there, kick some butt and feel good about something. You always hear stuff like "exercise makes you happy and gives you energy!" and you're sitting there thinking "really? It just makes me sweaty, irritable and exhausted!" But after a few months of working out... I have changed my views. Well, sort of- I'm still sweaty and exhausted, but I feel great and the exhaustion is often followed by bursts of energy throughout the day every time I think about how awesome I did at the gym that day. But I will admit that at the beginning, it was hard. I was tired all the time. I took naps. Like a baby. Or an old person. But it gets better, I promise! You just have to stick it out and remember that you're tired from all the AWESOME you were throwing out today. So go. Throw out some awesome.
AWESOME! I have long dreamt about being one of those people who handles grief, frustration, anger, happiness...basically any emotion-by running. I have a lot of friends who do and I've thought they were nuts. But now I'm wishing I'd tried it after Taela. And Aiyana. So thankful I did after Malcolm because the endorphins I get from my cardio are so much better than the ones John insists I would get from sex!
ReplyDeleteAspergers...it's a big scary word. But your kid is still your kid no matter what word might come along with them. My little brother is constantly stressing "do I do this because it's part of who I am or because I have Aspergers???" and I have told him and told him it doesn't matter because the bottom line is that he does it. He's successfully finished a college degree, holds a job, has a wife and is working on having kids and our parents were told he would never potty train or be able to be in a regular classroom. So take that Aspergers!
Seriously, though. You've got a lot of support in that direction online. I'm sure IRL you've got some, too, but if you need to reach out to those of us that have been there, do it. I might even give you my cell number. You know, so you could call and chat on your frustrated-and-I-want-to-pull-my-hair-out-because-I-don't-understand-what's-going-through-my-child's-head days (I had one of those yesterday). Or so we could just share stupid silly texts randomly through the day unrelated to kids and frustration.